Moses

There is much good in every day! Every day is full of good stuff because we live in the knowledge of GOOD NEWS. The good news of Jesus, the good news that His love changes everything. That perspective and those new eyes make every day, every moment, special.

I've begun the practice of a gratitude journal. It's not so much a journal - it's a massive desk calendar. In previous months, I used it for scheduling and blocking off time and meetings. But as most practices do, it fell to the wayside as I got more and more stressed out (ironic, huh?). Lately, I've been using it to make notes, jot down reminders, of how good my day was. What happened, what was funny, encouraging, uplifting.

Wednesday was a really productive work day.

Thursday saw new faces at life group. Games, the jar of questions, ADDI MAKES THE BEST DESSERTS.

Friday was day long conversation with a long distance best friend.

Saturday was Bible exhibit!! The preservation of the Word of God, my passionate Old Testament professor's tearful plug for the fruits of children's ministry, bonfires, Wendy's with Sydney.

Sunday was coffee with Mary, hearing friends preach, laughing around tables at Would You Rather.

And it's funny, because the more I dwell and remember the good, the less I wallow or dwell in the stressful, the hard. I literally cannot remember what made Wednesday hard. Or Friday - was really every moment awesome?? By God's grace, days are redeemed. And the choice to draw near to Him, to be renewed, is made.

So what becomes of the hard parts of the day?

The story of Moses is one of maturation and transformation. His lips have gone from muttering "Please, Lord, send someone else!" to interceding and leading the nation of God. He has led the people (the slow and faithless) from slavery and been the one to meet with God on the mountain. Moses has been a faithful leader, as God has been so faithful to him.

Then, a short little sentence in Numbers 20:12 ("And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them"), Moses cannot enter the promised land. His journey will stop short and he will not be able to lead his people in. That's hard to swallow. That would devastate me.

But then, in Deuteronomy 4, in one of Moses' speeches to the Israelites preparing them to enter the land under new leadership, he says - isn't our God AWESOME? Have you ever heard of a God coming down among his people? Have you ever heard of such a great thing happening in all the earth? PRAISE GOD. THERE IS NO ONE LIKE HIM.

That's what becomes of the hard parts.

The praise and worship of our God.

So it remains as a reminder to me. Keep writing down, dwelling in, remembering the blessings. There is gift and beauty and light in every moment. And specifically, when the dark days come, the days when I feel small and the fight seems gone and the wilderness is big - remember, dwell in, and receive the blessing. Remember James 1:12 and the crown of life the Lord has promised to those who persevere under trial. Take the focus off myself and my circumstances (as Moses has done) and cast them on a God who has done great, great things.

And most importantly,

PRAISE GOD. from whom all blessings flow. Have you ever heard of a greater love than this? In all the earth, have you heard of anything like this?? This love that sent Jesus to die for sin. This love that said IT IS FINISHED. There is no one like him. Praise God!

A Song and Dance

There's a painting that hangs over my bed that my dear friend Bethany made me. It's one of my favorite Scriptures and it's beautiful and it's truth and I see it more times than I can count.

I waited patiently for the LORD, He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Psalm 40.

This passage has a repetition in my life, a significance, that raised me from the dead. This I, this author, is familiarly me. Our Father hears His children's cries and draws us up, gives us steady ground and leads us on a path everlasting. It changes everything. We are invited in to sing praise in every moment, in every action, in every word.

I like to see new creation and journey as a song. Donald Miller asks the question at the end of Blue Like Jazz, "but what song will you sing when your soul gets set free?" Sometimes the beat crashes, sometimes it skips, sometimes it's off key. Is it faithful?

My friend Marri sees it as a dance. Sometimes a punch dance, sometimes a silent rave, sometimes a lyrical ballet. It's awkward and messy and not fluid at times. But she writes, "looking back over this story, my journey, I see the sneaky ways He was working. I see landmarks along the way, I see a collection of small and deliberate emancipations. And now I'm free to dance in wild, barefoot delight, improvising with beauty I discover and always, always listening for His rhythm, music and meaning."

Free to dance in His rhythm.

I think about what it means to be always listening for His rhythm, music, meaning. I think about what it means to sing His new song. I think about the writer of Romans who says, "when I want to do good, evil is right there with me." Then I think about a God who loves us fiercely, who makes us more real because we are so loved so much. This Love changes people (it really changes them!) and God's goodness is radiated. Because we give away what we are filled with.

Grace is beautiful and we are loved even more than we could ever imagine. Which is good, because we are worse than we think. But it is this grace that clothes us, this grace that died for us, this grace that uses us, this grace that sings a beautiful song and moves beautiful feet.

From the moment His love changes your life, as Real calls out to Real, you can't be ugly, you can't be a cheater, you can't be unforgiven, you can't be too far from Grace.

Just a post to say :: Here I Am!

A peek into my day to day.

#haircut. I got my hair chopped : six inches off. It was one of those desperation cuts, call two hours before, get me in or I'm doing something drastic. The woman who cut my hair had Justin Beiber hair - when I'm cooler, I'll be able to pull that off.

#pinterest. I became addicted to Pinterest - that awesome little website that lets me 'pin' pictures of scarves and sunsets, weddings and nail polish, tattoos and shoes (yes I have a whole board dedicated to tattoo ideas). It is a time consumer (but not a waster) and hey, I've got tons of ideas stored away whenever I decide to get creative.

#photo366. My friend April and her friend Erin have come up with this awesome photo a day project! With a daily prompt and Instagram at my fingertips, it has been such a fun way to see my day to day through a different lens. I am loving it! Besides the awesome shots and cool pictures, I love the connection social media offers. So cool. Join us!

#davidcrowder. A final show at Forest Hill, dude rocked a hat, full beard, guitar, heart for Jesus and some hilarious stories. Such a great night of worship with some awesome girls!

#advancelifegroup. Probably one of my favorite parts of the week. These girls love, desire, and live Jesus. So honored, thrilled, humbled to be a part of their journey!

#exodus. Still in awe of God. The theme of rescue, redemption, relationship is shouting forth from His Word. I'm resonating with the Israelites, the ones God loved, sought, rescued, redeemed, and the ones who can't seem to understand to trust the Father as the source of manna. What a hard lesson to learn in the trusting of God every day.

#faithtobestrong. Andrew Peterson's song says, "give us faith to be strong, give us strength to be faithful. Give us peace when we're torn, give us grace to go on."

#goodnews. And the good news is, the good news of all of the hard stuff and the pain and the hurt and all the sin, is that there is a God who came down, who rescued us, who is among us, because He loves. He created us, we sinned against, He pursued and loved and faced the shame and condemnation of a cross to free us from the condemnation of sin. That's life changing, life saving good news. Don't give up! There's a God who loves you fiercely!

Israelite, Just Like Me

I've been reading Exodus, post-exodus. The Israelites have just been led out of Egypt, out of captivity, and they've come grumbling and complaining. I'd rather be in captivity where I had food to eat than led out here to this wilderness! And God gives them manna, graciously provides daily food from the sky, and gives them guidelines on how to live. Gather what you can eat for the day, but only that. The sixth day, gather twice as much because on the seventh day, there will be none. This Sabbath, this instruction from the Lord, this pattern of gathering and resting, will provide a structure for how Israel is to live.

In the morning, you shall be filled with bread. Then you shall know that I am the LORD your God.

Then in chapter 20, God speaks to Moses and defines the kind of life that He calls for His people to live. The Ten Commandments indicate how Israel, and us too, are to remain faithful to the Lord. Love God, love people. These commandments aren't to be a set of rules to show us how we have strayed. God didn't create these commandments to use as a checklist - did that, haven't done that. We are in desperate need of God, of Jesus, of a Savior because we fail miserably at loving God and loving people. And what I love is that God provided. He didn't stay far away and hope His people figured out how to love Him. He didn't lead them out and let them aimlessly wander. He gave them direction, rhythm, structure, comfort, provision, compassion. Remember Me. I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery! When things look scary and desperate, I am still the same God who led you out of Egypt.

There's something strange about these Israelites. I am one of them. There's a wonderful comfort in this God who rescues and who loves His people. When they don't trust Moses. When they say they'd rather be held captive again. When they don't listen to his guidelines. When they gather more manna when they need. When they don't trust that God will daily provide. God says, I am the LORD your God. LINDSAY, I am the LORD your God.

The Armor that is Jesus

I've been reading a lot of different things - Exodus, Ephesians, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. I've taken pages of notes and I know there is a connection. I put off writing until I find the big connection, the big answer. I put off writing because I can't put it into words. God, what are you teaching me?? Because I know this is important! This is life changing, soul surviving, Gospel living important!

It is a difficult, but amazing perspective to see life through the lens of gift. Every moment is wrapped in a gift because every moment is God. And our part is the choice in how to respond to each moment. We can refuse, reject, respond miserably, or get down in gratitude and find the joy.

Every moment, we choose. Every single moment.

To remember we've got our armor, the armor of Ephesians that is Jesus Christ.

To remember we are loved infinitely and passionately by this wonderful, holy, righteous God and that this God wants to fight for us.

I read in Exodus this past week, this endless cycle of the Lord saying to Moses, Moses going to Pharaoh, Pharaoh saying no, hardening his heart, asking for relief but not submitting to God, and then plagues and plagues of devastation. We come to know Moses, this great leader and man of God, as a man who killed and fled, who literally said to God 'Please Lord, send someone else.' I can't speak and I am not eloquent of tongue, Moses says. There must be someone better!

But what strikes me about what happens in the following narrative is how many times the Lord says to him, 'Go in to Pharaoh. Present yourself before him. Go in to him. Stand.'

Stand.

Stand.

Stand.

Enter those courts and declare from your mouth what you have heard from the Lord.

I will be with you.

The armor of God that Paul writes about in Ephesians 6 has striking similarities. Interwoven between descriptions of breastplates and helmets and shoes, it says to stand. Stand firm. Stand your ground. And never stop praying.

Stand, because God is with you.

To read page after page, verse after verse of this astounding God in Exodus is almost breathtaking. He pursues a relationship with the Israelites, the enslaved people, and He desires for His person and His power to be known. He wants to fight for them. As the Israelites are crossing the Red Sea, the Egyptians say "Let us flee from before Israel, for the Lord fights for them against the Egyptians."

And then that Song of Moses gets lifted to the Lord and it is truly praiseworthy.

These words and this fight strike me to the core because I've been on a mission. Since the beginning of January, I have worked to be more disciplined. I've made schedules and lists and goals because I see that as my version of being proactive and fighting. And it felt good because I was choosing all these things and I was making them happen. Go me! I've got my armor!

And then I spoke to friends who said the armor of God really is Jesus. It is truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the Word of God. And then I read Exodus 14:14.

Brakes, to the ground, screeching halt.

And Moses said to the people, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."

I think of all the ways I want to fight lies and all the ways I want to grab pitchforks and torches and I'm confused by the 'be silent' part. When I'm running ahead at a million miles an hour and I'm gathering supplies and commanding strategies - I don't get the 'be still' ask. There's something about it that really trips me up. I try to get around it and think 'I'll fight with my actions.' But God says 'stop. I've got you. I want you. Let me fight for you. I love you FIERCELY.'

And maybe the silent part of Exodus 14:14 doesn't mean inaction. It means stand firm, child, because you have Jesus.

My lists, they aren't bad. My goals of self-discipline, are good things. They are choice and gratitude and an honoring of gifts. But they are not my armor and they do not fight for me. I don't have to add Jesus + one. Because there is a God who so graciously provides, even when I am Israelite-ish and complain and say I'd rather be in slavery and I'm dying of thirst, He still brings daily manna from the sky.

What a change in perspective.

My favorite commercials are the ones for Florida Orange Juice. Seated around a kitchen table, there's someone pouring a glass of orange juice while everyone else around the table is telling OJ-drinking person what their day is going to look like. Flat tire, hard drive erased, disrespectful children, late for work. And the person with the orange juice responds every time with 'excellent! perfect! bring it on! good thing I have my orange juice!'

And I imagine that's what our responses are when we start our day not with orange juice, but with the Word of God, when we root ourselves in the knowledge that we are armed with Jesus. We say 'bring it on' to the hard stuff because we know Jesus sustains us.

In this season of waiting I find myself in, the Lord says do not fear, be still, stand firm, do not cease to pray, I am with you. Do not be so quick to 'do,' but be quick to listen. The choice to see, honor, worship, choose Jesus in each moment is the best way to fight.

Know

The Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD (Exodus 7:5).

Was God just wanting the Egyptians to know He existed?

The first part of the second book of the Bible is this crazy stubborn, hard hearted Pharaoh refusing to heed God's command. Over and over again, God shows Himself as more powerful than the most powerful nation in the land. Take that, Egyptian gods. Over and over again, God speaks to His messenger Moses and says you shall know.

I've been thinking a lot about the word know. Having knowledge of God, God's big Exodus purpose of revealing Himself, of the Egyptians knowing His power and His person. I've been thinking the past few days, is knowledge just about the learning and gaining of information?

Part of me says no, duh. Knowledge is about how we use that information! Put it into practice - even the demons believe! But maybe, I think, I AM WHO I AM is saying it's more.

Knowledge is less about a cognitive recognition or acknowledgment. It's more about a posture, our posture.

Psalm 46 paints one of my favorite pictures in Scripture. I imagine total and utter chaos, destruction, the fires of Mordor with Sam and Frodo helplessly hanging on. It is a devastating picture. The earth is giving way, mountains are falling into the heart of the sea, kingdoms fall. But the psalmist repeats over and over - The LORD is with us! God is in the midst. A very present help in trouble.

Then he writes, Be still and know.

Know. There's that word again!

I wonder why it's there. Not be still and believe, or be still and trust, but be still and know. Know that God is good, know that He is present, know that He is faithful. To know.

Looking through the lens of posture, knowledge becomes worship. Knowledge is relationship. One step further than just having the knowledge that He is there. We take a posture of belief and trust when we know that God is God. Not just knowing that He exists, but knowing His mightiness, His power, His characteristics.

The world is falling away! There is chaos - I don't know what to do! Know that I am God.

These plagues and death and disease throughout the land - I am fearful. Know that I am the LORD.

I don't feel you close - are you there God? Be still, cease striving, and know that I am God.

What am I supposed to do with my life!? Where are you calling me? Know.

God's been working on my heart through this idea and I can't help but think of the hard truth of what it means. When the earth falls away, the world crumbles, even if we're swallowed up with it, God is still so so good, He is still mighty and holy and faithful.

What?

But maybe that's the part of the know that I am the most stubborn to adopt. When there is hope and healing and A + B = C, that's the kind of God I can believe in! But when there isn't, do I still believe in a God who is good? When He does deliver us and make us whole but not until heaven and people die, what is my posture?

When God feels silent, do I know?

Adopt a posture of knowing God by believing in His love. Fall on knees and know through the life and death of Jesus Christ. He is Emmanuel, God with us. He is mighty and powerful and sovereign and holy and He will deliver you.

His character does not change with our circumstances.

A Pause

A year-end pause.

What I'm listening to.

Mumford & Sons.

Kari Jobe.

JJ Heller.

Ryan Gosling's band Dead Man's Bones, complete with piano and children's choir.

Phil Wickham, always.

What I'm watching.

Parks and Recreation, Season Two. Amy Poehler is running through my mind.

Sherlock Holmes, A Game of Shadows. A genius film, perfected by the brilliance of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. I left the theatre wishing people still dressed like that (hats? canes? trousers? overcoats? so.cool). I know Sherlock and I would be friends, with his penchant for details and his art of observation. Holmes, you make thinking look so cool.

What I'm reading.

A Study in Scarlet, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. The first in the Sherlock Holmes collection! Dr. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes have just met - I'm pumped for the adventures to come!

The Only Necessary Thing, a collection of writings on prayer by Henri Nouwen.

"Our ability to think is our greatest gift, but it is also the source of our greatest pain. Do we have to become victims of our unceasing thoughts? No, we can convert our unceasing thinking into unceasing prayer by making our inner monologue into a continuing dialogue with our God, who is the source of all love. Let's break out of our isolation and realize that Someone who dwells in the center of our beings wants to listen with love to all that occupies and preoccupies our minds."

Rereading One Thousand Gifts, a treasure by Ann Voskamp.

Exodus. Beginning book two of the Holy Bible.

What I think you should read.

A beautiful blog post a friend wrote on the Hunger Games and the armor of God. Read even if the name Katniss doesn't send chills up your arm. From my friend's beautiful mind to yours - she's a gift. www.werewolfjesus.com

What I'm learning.

What I am learning. whew. It's still processing and unfolding, but it's exciting! I am learning gratitude, that giving thanks is the key to the fullest life in Christ. I am learning to fight, to use the armor of God. I am learning discipline, in all things. I am learning the expanse of a big, big God, an I AM WHO I AM kind of God. It changes everything.

What I'm memorizing.

Psalm 51. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

What I'm remembering.

Our God came. In the form of a tiny baby. He came because He loves us. He loves what He created. What a love.

Take a pause. Then keep going.