The Power of Our Words

"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." Ephesians 4:15-16.

Words are so powerful.

Words give life, resuscitate the soul, empower truth. They can be used as missiles, as knives to the heart. Our tongues have the power to deceive, defame, deface, praise, affirm, encourage. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing (James 3:10). We can build cities. We can move walls. We can implement change with the words we speak.

I believe that what we say matters. I believe in the words of community, in the life giving words of breaking bread, the prayers we pray. I believe in the power of written words, in the blogs we write, the sermons we preach, the songs we sing, the books we read. I believe we do life together through words.

I believe in the choice that words give us. We choose to be vulnerable, to hide, to speak truth, to share our souls, to invite someone in, to encourage. Every time our mouths open, our tongues move into gear, our pen hits paper, we have the choice to SPEAK LIFE. We are leaving an impression. Letters, syllables, grammar, punctuation make up the fabric of our influence. Do we realize the weight of what this means? Our words are not meaningless or insignificant or empty. We can do so much with them.

Because our words matter, we look to Jesus.

Our model is in the life of Jesus. Throughout the Gospels, He speaks. He says, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life.' His words heal. His words give life. He speaks honestly to the Samaritan woman at the well and says that He is the Living Water. He tells Peter three times to 'feed my sheep.' He says from the cross, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.' He calls out, Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.'

Faithful, loving, He is beautiful.

Jesus didn't just speak truth.. Jesus IS truth. He is perfect and honest and pure and just. I think of his response to sinners. His response to his disciples. His response to the Pharisees. His response to the Father. His Word is ultimate and it is more than just our example. It saves us.

So let your speech be gracious (Colossians 4:6), may you hold fast to the word of life (Philippians 2:16), may the Word of God dwell richly in you (Colossians 3:16), may we encourage one another and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11), and may every knee bow and every TONGUE confess that Jesus Christ is Lord (Philippians 1:23).

Choose your words. Choose life. Choose Jesus.

Flee

I remember doing a Beth Moore study with my friend Abbey last year about living free. Moore says the mind is where it all begins, our primary battlefield. Satan wages war there. She says, "If our thoughts aren't like God's, we can bet our ways, paths, and routes won't be either."

Isn't that the truth?

I've been reading a lot of verses in the Scriptures lately about the mind. Our thoughts and how we find peace with them. The writers of our Holy Book are pretty consistent when they say that our God is a God of peace. Over and over again, I came across verse after verse after verse that said 'God has called you to peace,' 'Live in peace,' 'God is not a God of confusion, but of peace.' Over and over again.

I had a moment while meditating on these verses: these aren't just someone's opinions! God didn't at one time appear to someone as peace and we just have to trust that writer's experience : GOD IS PEACE. If I believe that the Bible is the inerrant and infallible Word of God, then I must believe everything that is in it. I must trust that God is who He says He is. He IS the total embodiment of peace and He continues to be who He has always been. When I feel confused and wonder what is truth, all I need to is open up the Bible and that. is. what. is real. What a refreshing truth.

I know we all have our places and things where satan aims to sideline us and mine are my thoughts and the way they grow into lies. What a constant place where I am brought to my knees. I know I have a hyperactive mind to begin with and have genuinely loved the growth that has come from my thoughts. But when I go through changes or experience something new or an unfamiliar situation arises, it is like a nuclear bomb of thoughts goes off up there. Because there are so many rushing by, my lie filter gets lazy and I forget to take them captive and make them obedient to Christ. I analyze and analyze again and before I know it, I can be headed in the complete opposite direction by believing things I know aren't true. Doing it on my own : talk about exhausting.

Enter Scripture.

James 4:7-8 says, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to God."

It doesn't say 'Resist the devil and he will quietly slink away from you' or 'Resist the devil and then he'll come up with new ways to attack you.' It says he will FLEE. Flee. Run away in fear. No looking back. Leave. How do we resist the devil? By drawing near to God and humbly submitting to Him. By surrendering, by giving up the fight. By running headlong into the Heavenly Father's embrace. The same power that conquered the grave lives in me. And that is no match for the devil. When Christ is in me, the devil flees.

I learn every day that life is full of choices. All we do, think, speak and how we act, respond, influence are all choices we make. Our choices reflect what we believe and who we're living for. And so I choose life. I choose to hold that Bible tight every night before I lay my head down and I choose to reach for it every morning. I choose to draw near to God. I choose to resist. I choose to believe every single word the Bible says. I choose to trust. I choose to not lose heart and turn towards bitterness in response to my battles. I choose to admit that I need a Savior.

Psalm 139 says, 'O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.'

Psalm 139 also says that there is no place we can go to escape His presence. He is there and He is constant. We don't fight anything that He doesn't know about. The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but have the divine power to destroy strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:4). When we use prayer, Scripture, the power of the Holy Spirit, faith, community, we draw near to God. And satan flees.

I choose to believe the power of Christ's death on the cross and His victory over sin.

Grace

I've done a lot of stupid things lately. Not anything tragic or life changing, but things that make me look back and say to myself, 'are you for real??'

It makes me so thankful for Jesus.

Until I was 23, I proclaimed to be a Christian and then had everyone bow down to me. I loved making people feel bad. I really liked belittling people and I really thrived on being right. It's embarrassing to think about. I really was so self righteous and God was my afterthought (if even a thought at all). Any time I needed correction, that was a big no. I would either ignore you, get mad and turn it back on you (my favorite response), or manipulate you into thinking I was right the whole time. I take no credit for life change because it is Christ who has redeemed my choices. He has redeemed my responses. He has given me better options. Without Him, what other option do we have? He's made me thankful for the freedom that comes with being wrong. He has changed my response to you and He has changed how I receive your response to me.

And that's grace.

As I make mistakes now, grace comes into the picture. As I am rude and thoughtless and arrogant, I am met with grace. And it blows my mind. On two counts. Grace frees me. Grace is unconditional. My friends who respond with grace : I think back to a time and know hands down, 100%, that I never, ever would have responded that way. I loved when people messed up. It was my chance to shine! To mess up, be rightfully called out, and to be met with grace, forgiveness, and moving forward, is refreshing. Not just refreshing, it's almost a shock to my system.

And that's grace.

It's so good!

When other people respond as Christ, I am freed to respond as Christ. I am freed to think as Christ. I am freed to remember Christ's work.

It's really, really exciting.

I can't really articulate how this makes me feel. I wish all of you could take a jump inside my thoughts. It makes me overjoyed. No, no I am not happy I make mistakes. Gross. It bums me out when I'm thoughtless. I hate sinning. But I am so thankful for Jesus. I am reminded of the victory over sin and death in His cross and resurrection.

I am overjoyed because it is in the little things that I can see my big story. That I can see Christ. The little graces where I am blown away.

I spent half of last night thinking through mistakes, thinking through responses, thinking through story, because that's what I do. I think. For those most faithful to follow, I have most frequently blogged about my thoughts. Taking them captive. My mind. When I'm not disciplined, satan runs around unmarked and unchecked, taking names and wreaking havoc. Satan's thinking becomes my way of life. My instincts reflect his. When I don't practice 2 Corinthians 10:5, I let satan have a field day up there.

But when I do, when I stamp Paul's words on my heart and mind, my mind does a complete reroute. God's Word literally becomes my filter. I have a thought : dismiss it as a lie. I have a thought : call it ridiculous. I have a thought : throw away that shame. I have a thought : yes that's truth! And that's the one I believe. And I am knocked off my feet at how good His grace is.

I am given grace to think new.

What I'm learning is that the practice of filtering and taking thoughts captive is never complete. I'm not going to reach a point of perfection and no longer have to fight satan's lies. I was born a sinful human being. But that doesn't mean the battle hasn't been won. That doesn't take anything away from Christ and His redemption. Refinement is in how quickly I resort to my filter, to Scripture, and how quickly I count truth for what it is. The Spirit does its work and satan talk becomes less and less frequent.

I am joyful because I can look at my story and think 'what a God!' I spent most of today thinking 'if God can save a prideful soul like me, then He can save anyone!'

So if you take anything from this hodgepodge of thoughts, take that away. God loves you. He really, really loves you. No matter how shameful or ugly or gross or prideful your actions and thoughts are, He wants them. All of them. He wants all of you.

And that is grace.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

Fruit

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control." Galatians 5:22-23

I just emerged from a two day fast. Going without food is physically draining, almost to the point of hilarity. There were times where my mind felt so foggy. During a conversation I had with a woman I just met, she said her child's name, said his nickname, I asked her again what his name was, five minutes later realized who she was talking about, and on the drive home, I realized the name and nickname were the same person. Holy cow.

I think about that physical draining and I know that time away from God produces the same mental, emotional weakness. I unequivocally, absolutely, 100% need need need time with the Savior. I never grasped the urgency, the necessity, the absolute criticalness of that dependency. I transitioned from doing it because I felt obligated and 'didn't do enough' to 'I love it because I enjoy learning and being in God's presence'. But these last few days, I have understood that I am oh so weak when I am not fueled by Christ. I need it because I need God. And that is pleasing to Him.

Psalm 63 says, "O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food." There are no empty comparisons in God being our Daily Bread. Every. Single. Day He is our Sustainer. We don't fill up on food at the beginning of the week and hope it lasts. The same is true of our God and Savior.

I've been reading through Galatians 5 this week. Learning about the desires of the flesh vs. walking by the Spirit. When I choose the Spirit, I live by love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self Control. Doesn't that sound so refreshing? The flesh is in direct contrast with that beauty and when we stiff arm our sinfulness and make a better choice, we accept and live by what the Spirit gives. The Spirit not only fights against sin in defense, but in attack through the creation of Godly character. That blows my mind in gratefulness.

The Apostle Paul reiterates again and again that the only way to conquer flesh is to yield to the Spirit. Relinquish, surrender, cede. Not by doing more, not by reading a theology book, BUT BY THE SPIRIT. Every piece of me apart from the transforming work of the Holy Spirit is sin. It can never be good on its own. But Christ has crucified the flesh and Christians have died with Christ to sin. The old order has passed away and our sinful selves that belonged to that order have crumbled away. I am saved from my flesh.

I'll be honest with you, there are hard days. I don't want to tie a nice ribbon around this blog post and call this battle won. It's an every day, constant, continual dependency. Being in receptive communion with the Spirit every. single. day. I still feel 'fleshy'. I do the very things I hate. To borrow from Paul, I desire to do what is right, but I don't have the ability to carry it out. I don't do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. I still struggle with sanctification not having a finish line. But I am refreshed to know there is Someone working in me to tear that flesh away. I'm not on my own in this process of refinement. I am humbled by the work of Christ.

Yielding to the Spirit, going against the flesh, starts with discipline.

Holy Spirit, lead me.

The Positioning of My Heart

I've been having a lot of conversations lately with friends about purpose and motive and why I do what I do. Why do I write? Why do I work? Why do I volunteer? Why am I in school? I strip away all the pretenses and knock down all the walls and lay all my actions and thoughts down in front of me and most of the time what I see is ugly.

I carry the question of 'why' with me everywhere I go. I weigh the 'why' answer against every action I do. And not in a 'why am I here in this world' kind of thing, because I know the answer to that (praise Jesus), but more of an examination of my motives. What I am driven by. Am I working for myself? Do I do these things to get recognition? To gain knowledge? Am I being used for something bigger? Do I just like to hear myself talk?

It's been a critical analysis. I have found myself jolted awake by the pounding words to my heart WHY ARE YOU HERE? And I'll answer 'because I love students and I love volunteering.' Or 'because I love to learn.' And the pounding always pushes for more : BUT WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? NO. REALLY. WHY ARE YOU HERE? And it always causes me to pause and think. Is it to make my name great? Am I really in my heart living my life to make His name great?

God will suffer no rival.

I hope I'm not alone when I say it's been hard. Life gets familiar and it's easy to get lost going through the motions. I search for routine and structure and organization and work at getting my obligations down. But I've come to a place of conviction where I realize I don't want to live that way anymore. I don't want to do things just to do them or fulfill duties out of obligation. I don't want my motives to be empty. I don't think it's good enough anymore to answer the 'why' question with 'because I'm needed' or 'because they're good things.' Those may be true, but I think if my sole answer isn't to glorify God and make His name great, well, then what I do is meaningless.

Glorifying God comes in a lot of different shapes and sizes. I love my job because I get the chance to influence kids with the Gospel. I am inspired by volunteers who work hard. I work with a wonderful team who challenges and encourages and prays. I love going to class because learning stimulates me to grow. I love writing because it's been an incredible discipline for me. I want to be a counselor because I want to pour out Jesus Christ. I love volunteering with students because I think high school is such a formative time and I want girls to have positive influences and to know what matters.

I look at all those things and think God can be glorified through them all. But I know I can say one thing and do another, say one thing and feel another, and I pray fervently for a pure heart that remains rooted in keeping God first and foremost centered in my mind. I want to be a vessel of the Spirit, but it's me that gets in the way. Sometimes it's so subconscious! It's an uncomfortable process to tear away the inner gunk called sin nature, but through that process, I count myself grateful for a God who changes gunk to refinement.

It also serves as a good reminder when something doesn't go the way I want it to or I just have too much on my plate. I stomp my feet like an impatient infant and wallow in paralysis. And then I hear that voice say WHY ARE YOU HERE. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. And I'm reminded that it's not about me.

God will suffer no rival.

Unmerited Favor

Hey! Here I am! I'll start off by being honest. I am completely wiped. The only reason I'm awake right now is because the show Parenthood premieres at 10. A lot's been going on and I'm learning a new normalcy and finding a new routine. I know this is a transitional phase and so I cling to the faithful, stable God who provided all these great things! I have been blessed with unmerited favor.

I started my classes at Gordon-Conwell this past weekend (loved it) and I started my new job this past Sunday (also loved it). God has been faithful to provide me with incredible opportunities. One of the coolest things about our God is that He doesn't just drop us off to fend for ourselves once He leads us somewhere. He lovingly provides and lovingly sustains. Oh what a unfathomable God He is!

While I'm navigating through new things, I am thankful for grace. Grace that I'm not going to have a schedule down right away. Grace that I'm not going to always have the time or the energy to blog. Grace that there will be challenges and grace that I will stumble. I learn to praise God for those stumblings because through them, He is glorified and I am refined. Oh what a beautiful God He is!

I know there are incredible learnings coming my way (so stay tuned!). Throughout this new season, I pray my knees get worn out from spending time with my Father, I pray my journal is filled with new wrestlings as I continue to die to sin, I pray my life is filled with meaningful relationships and conversations that glorify our Creator, I pray my work is filled with a passion and a commitment that honors and serves my Savior, and I pray I come away with a greater sense of what Christ's sacrifice has done.

I'm ready for the ride!

Redemption Doesn't Cost Seven Pounds

The tagline for the movie Seven Pounds reads : An aerospace engineer with a fateful secret embarks on an extraordinary journey of redemption by forever changing the lives of seven strangers.

Extraordinary journey of redemption? Redemption?? That's redemption??

Will Smith is Tim Thomas, a gentle, gracious, kind hearted, burdened, tortured man who's got a past he can't forget. He meticulously plans a way to free himself from what he feels. As he steps into the bathtub in the final ten minutes, you realize he's ending his life to save seven complete strangers.. to account for the seven lives lost in the car accident he takes full responsibility for.

As the credits are rolling, I sit on the couch, devastated, thinking there was a better way.

I research the movie and words like atonement and debt jump out at me. The title is named for a reference in the Shakespeare play 'The Merchant of Venice,' in which the debtor must pay a pound of flesh. A pound for a pound. A gift for a mistake. A life for a life. Tim Thomas doesn't want to do it: he has to. He's bound by what happened. He shouts out the names of those who were killed to remind himself of the hurt. I'm a debtor and I've got to pay. I've wronged someone and I've got to atone. I've got to make up for what's been done. I've got a strike against me and I'm indebted to it.

Do I live a seven pounds kind of life?

We all have the secrets and the pasts and the really bad, no good, horrible things that we're almost positive obscure us from God and His love. We tackle them ourselves, spend more time doing good, more time being nice, more time being loving and caring. We make redemption and atonement our project, our assignment, and we work and work until we feel better. And then guilt hits us like an unexpected brick wall. Does the good ever outweigh the bad? That question gets exhausting.

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT JESUS SAYS COME TO ME ALL WHO ARE WEARY AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.

The gospel says, let Me take all your sins and mistakes and things you wish you could take back.. and I'll show you a cross. I loved you so much I died FOR you. I died so you didn't have to. I am the spotless Lamb. I took away 'a pound for a pound' and I have given you life so that you may live it to the fullest! Throw off shame, throw off guilt and torture and burden and lift your hands and your life to Me. I sustain you and I preserve you and I have saved you. Stop trying to save yourself! I already did it! I forgive you, I love you, I created you. COME TO ME.

Jesus has freed us from a Seven Pounds life. We're no longer in chains, our sin doesn't bind us. We don't have to walk around with shame on our backs or devote our entire lives to making things right. He's cleared our debt : we've got clean slates! When we confess and repent and accept Jesus as Lord, He sets us free. And oh what a freedom that is.

So yes, we do give our lives. Jesus wants our lives, our hearts, our minds, our pasts, our regrets, our futures. He wants all of it. Yes, we die to ourselves, to others, to our sin. Yes, it's painful. Will Smith was right, it costs everything. But it costs everything earthly and gives you everything eternal. We don't end it; we give it. And there's a happy ending : it's when our new lives begin!

Here's some redemption:

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith." (Romans 3:23-25)

"In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth."(Ephesians 1:7-10)

"He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." (Colossians 1:13-14)

"Most of us work and work trying to prove ourselves, to convince God, others, and ourselves that we are good people. That work is never over unless we rest in the gospel. On the cross Jesus was saying of the work underneath your work- the thing that makes you truly weary, this need to prove yourself because who you are and what you do are never good enough- that IT IS FINISHED. He has lived the life you should have lived, He has died the death you should have died. If you rely on Jesus' finished work, you know that God is satisfied with you. You can be satisfied with life." (Tim Keller, King's Cross)