God in All Our Simple Deeds

Figuring out what I want to do for the rest of my life has never been automatic for me.

I played 'school' my entire childhood: with my students being the empty room. I made real homework assignments and kept track of the troublemakers whose parents I had to 'call.' I grew out of that game when I entered high school and my teacher aspirations went with it. Then I went to college and studied journalism before I realized it wasn't what I hoped to be. I found my passion in majoring in history and have never enjoyed studying anything more. But history stops in a classroom.. unless you want a career in a museum.

This past year, especially, I've spent navigating through a career: what to do with the rest of my life (which sounds so daunting, doesn't it?). I've recently realized it's the one thing I'm least likely to share with people, even my closest friends. The journey I make towards finding the right job and calling is one I prefer to do in private.

And I think it's because I still draw my deepest identity from having a job. I've become wired with a 'do' mindset.. and 'do' for the wrong person: me.

And in my recent shift from 'do' to 'done (by grace),' my insecurities over my job uncertainties have (stubbornly) been the last to go. And I'm learning (have learned + still learning) that having a job does not create happiness, worth, contentment, or value. Yes, it's essential and important and imperative in learning responsibility and in making a difference through a calling: yes, yes I love jobs. But it doesn't create ULTIMATE worth. That's the cross and that's the Gospel. That's Jesus.

In 'The Pursuit of God,' A.W. Tozer writes on 'The Sacrament of Living' and how most Christians divide their life into two areas: the sacred and the secular. He says this causes us to live divided lives because we tend to always bounce back and forth between our disunited lives. Jesus lived a united life.

Tozer writes that we "must offer all our acts to God and believe that he accepts them. Then hold firmly to that position and keep insisting that every act of every hour of the day and night be included in the transaction. Keep reminding God in our times of private prayer that we mean every act for His glory; then supplement those times by a thousand thought-prayers as we go about the job of living. LET US BELIEVE THAT GOD IS IN ALL OUR SIMPLE DEEDS AND LEARN TO FIND HIM THERE."

What if I learned to live like that? To live out Colossians 3:23-24 ('whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward')? To find Him and love Him and serve Him in EVERYTHING? What if I refocused?

I think figuring out what I want to do wouldn't make me so fearful: because I would already be serving Him in all things and wouldn't be waiting for the one thing.

As this post gets longer and longer..

I've recently discovered what working heartily for Him NOW means and found my point of refocus.

It's been a year of stretching, growing, challenges, new life: by far my best year. Ever. And interwoven between those times of anger and bitterness and uphill climbs, there have been.. children. I spent the most time with kids than I think I've ever spent before and I've fallen in love with them. I found that I loved + laughed + learned from people.. some even 20 years younger than me!

There's a family of five who live down the street that I spend time with everyday. A 10 year old, 8, 4, 2, and a two week old newborn! And every day I go to their home, I get on the job training for future responsibilities. Their mom teaches me about motherhood: the struggles of a big home, what no one tells you about pregnancy, how she dealt with losing a child, how to incorporate the Gospel into tough conversations with her 10 year old: she's my teacher.

And then I get to 'intern.' The kids and I play, we do homework, make dinner, stretch and take baths (the 4 yr old loves to stretch before bathtime: ask a kid to do a sit up and you'll never stop laughing), read books, sing songs, say prayers, and tuck them in (burrito style is always the best).

These are my simple deeds.

This is my refocus.

In my recent journey through Luke, I reached the 9th chapter and the Transfiguration and had a moment of wonder:

"And as he was praying, the appearance of his face altered, and his clothing became dazzling white. And behold, two men were talking with him, Moses and Elijah, who appeared in glory and spoke of his departure, which he was about to accomplish in Jerusalem. Now Peter and those who were with him were heavy with sleep, but when they became fully awake they saw his glory and the two men who stood with him. And as the men were parting from him, Peter said to Jesus, "Master, it is good that we are here. Let us make three tents, one for you and one for Moses and one for Elijah"-- not knowing what he said. As he was saying these things, a cloud came and overshadowed them, and they were afraid as they entered the cloud. And a voice came out of the cloud, saying "This is my Son, my Chosen One; listen to him!"

This is a glimpse of the second coming: of the future glory of Christ. He is illuminated from the inside. He is the transcendent Son of God. The significance of Moses and Elijah is that Jesus is the fulfillment of both. He is far greater than the Law and the Prophets. All the Old Testament POINTS to him.

While reading this afternoon, I felt a charge to REFOCUS. Jesus came to fulfill the kingdom of God and the new covenant and he promises to come again in all his glory. He is the better Moses and he is the better Elijah. Instead of always offering up prayers of petition for my life, what if I remembered the Transfiguration and remembered prayers of adoration and praise for who God is, what He came to do, and what He will come to do? What if I prayed in anticipation of his glory?

A good friend told me this week what calling looks like vs. our desire. He says that deciphering the true calling of God involves a process: a process of seeing your desires crushed and heart broken, only to see it reborn in a slightly different way. It can become a joy and a point of praise to watch the destruction of our idea of "God's call wrapped in a thick layer of our glory" and to see the beginning of a joyful waiting for his calling to be revealed. But true calling is to abide in him. To heed His voice in the middle of it all.

To abide in the promise of the Transfiguration. And to remember He is in all our simple deeds.