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Monday, July 29, 2013

Faith

I was just reading (and rereading) an Ann Voskamp blog post recently about her visit to Uganda to meet her sponsored Compassion child, Anna. Ann writes about meeting Anna and about interacting with the beauty of Uganda. And there is a moment where the sweet child Anna makes a startling statement of faith, a statement of belief beautifully devoid of pretense or fear or doubt. 

I show Anna the photo of her and the goat under this exact tree and how it's been on our fridge for years, and when I turn it over, there is one cheerio stuck to the duct tape on the back. I pick the one stuck cheerio off the back of the photo. 
I'm shaking my head, awed, us sitting here in Uganda at True Love Baptist with the little girl we sponsored on Valentine's Day in 2008 and I choke it out, "Did you ever think that we would be sitting here under your tree with your goat photo?" I roll the years old cheerio in my hand.

"Yes. Yes, I did." Anna nods.

"Wait - you did think this would happen? You're not surprised at all that we're here? So we're the only ones surprised we are here?" I ask her wide-eyed, half-laughing, half-stunned.

Anna smooths out her white dress.
"I knew that you would come." She whispers calm. Her eyes find mine -

"I always knew that you would come."

and I cry every time I read it and I cry every time I think about it. can you just imagine? because this is faith, this is belief, this Africa faith. This "I always knew you would come."
a passionate calm. an "I knew it because I know my God. and He is good."

I read that kind of faith again in Isaiah. in the 25th chapter, the 9th verse. it is written, "It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us." 

oh, behold. this is our God. 
we know Him. we have waited for Him. here he is! 
we always knew He would come!

Monday, July 1, 2013

Eight Months Later

one of my sweet college friends just got back from kenya. 

we met for breakfast recently at the flying biscuit (because what's better than breakfast from flying biscuit?) and we talked about God and africa and how the two connect. and i remembered what i felt like when i was fresh from my own africa trip - overwhelmed, overjoyed, still a little broken, numb, very numb, much in awe. 

and as i sat across from her and heard her stories, i felt deep within me oh friend. i am pumped for you. wait. just wait and see what God will do with that trip, your experiences. it's going to blow you out of the water.

because as more and more days keep passing from mine (eight months worth of days), God reveals more and more of what He was doing, the picture that is big. 

He showed me faith.

i saw people who had experienced great loss, whose lives were marked by great sadness, unspeakable tragedy, great pain in hearts that were broken many times over. and it was these people who looked me in the eye and said God is so good. 
can you imagine that belief? i've never experienced anything like it and as days go by, they are in my mind. i yearn for that. 

there's something about pain and loss that draws us deeper into intimacy with Jesus. we're brought closer to the heart of God. the people in rwanda, God loves those people. very much. they've experienced the very brokenness Jesus died on the cross to save and redeem. they've experienced the brokenness that the cross was for. and by His strange and mysterious grace, they can identify with our Savior. God whispers, i know. me too. 

and they've found great Joy in Him. 

i've come through my own year of faith and drawing near and as i think about africa, i think that was it. it was perfect, the way it all fit in. 

oh kenyan katie, can we talk about your trip again in eight months?