If you know me long enough, you know about my spot.
My friends know that if they're coming over to my place and it's a nice day outside, don't even bother coming to the front door. Just walk around back to my spot. I'll be there.
I've done a lot of searching out there, a lot of wrestling. I've spent entire days out there, I've eaten meals out there. I have cried sweet tears out there, I have laughed and felt the deepest of joy out there. I've done some good listening. I've even hauled living room furniture out there because people are over and I just don't want to go inside.
Another safe place is with my people.
There's a family that has lived life alongside me for a majority of the past four years. Their home is a safe place for me. It's there that I've had rich conversations by the fire, deep laughter over a cup of tea, sweet encouraging prayer. I find it no coincidence that during the past year, I've had some of my richest moments with the Lord while spending weekends alone at their house while they've been on vacation. There's an expectancy there, a presence of the Lord for me there. My soul rests there because I am safe there.
Where does your soul rest?
I read a blog post recently by John Ortberg on how to care for the most important part of you. He says that these days, we're always talking about self care and how there are a lot of books written about the importance of self-talk. People are always talking to themselves.
But in the Bible, he says, people talk to their souls.
The next time you get angry or upset or dissatisfied or afraid, instead speak to your soul - soul, why are you so afraid? Why are you so angry? O my soul, why are you downcast?
Ortberg writes that in the soul exists the presence of God and when we speak to our souls, it naturally turns to prayer because God is there. You are the keeper of your soul, he writes, but just its keeper and not its captain. The more we focus on our selves, we neglect our souls. The soul is like an inner stream of water that gives strength, direction, and harmony to every other area of life.
I like that.
In my recent quest for defining self care, maybe it's been more about soul care. Maybe in moments of confusion and desperation in this season of disorientation, maybe it's my soul that has needed the most care. On top of speaking truth to myself, maybe I need to speak deep to my soul.
My dear friend and I went out to lunch the other day and I shared a little bit about my season (to which she spoke the two most powerful words in the English language - me too). And we were both baffled and intrigued about the idea of rest. What is rest, how do we rest? Because resting cannot possibly mean a physical rest. It cannot possibly mean lying down and taking a nap. It cannot possibly mean getting a pedicure (holla) or taking a day off. It includes all these things, that is for sure, but these are just symptoms. A response to what it truly is.
Maybe it's a presence of the Lord kind of thing.
A speaking to our souls.
A being safe and resting there.
A deep calls to deep, like Psalm 42 says.