At first, the lies of satan are all there is so you take it as truth. You don't recognize it as anything else. It HAS to be true. It's a constant loop. Then, with time and a process, you slowly start to make the choice to start distinguishing between what's truth and what's not. But once you make the choice to stop listening to those lies, your mind STILL produces them. That's when the battle really starts. You hear something, you think something and you think "wait wait wait. I made the choice to stop acknowledging you. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE??" And then you digress because you've lost. You start to believe the lies again. And then you're reminded that hey, some things up there are unwanted and untrue and you pick up your armor to fight again. But the battle is even HARDER this time. Because the lies come STRONGER. There's a mix up there of truth and lies and you wonder why the truth feels so weak. Aren't my efforts working!? If I think hard enough, won't they go away?? You're disciplined, you read things of truth, you hear words of truth.. and things start to turn around. Some time goes by and you don't hear them for a while. AND THEN THEY COME BACK WITH A FURY. Something ignites them, one word someone says, one action done or not done and the floodgates suddenly open to a barrage of lies. This is where they've seemingly been hiding this whole time, lying in wait for your next vulnerability. They're back and this time, they're back to kill.
You cry out. You can't take it. You've done all you could to drive those lies out and they just aren't leaving. They've taken up permanent residence. You'll always think that way. They will always dominate.
And you give the fight away.
And Someone else takes it.
There's Someone there who's glad to take it. Who's glad you finally gave up. He takes over and His loud booming voice resonates Truth. The lies don't just scurry away.. THEY ARE WIPED CLEAN. Like a flood. And you know they're gone. The permanent homes you think they've burrowed deep are obliterated. They never stood a chance. And you look back and almost laugh at how powerful you believed those lies to be. How silly it was of you to have elevated them to truth status compared to the presence of real Truth.
Those lies have been replaced.
And you've been restored.
Your reward is the joy of being RESCUED.
Today I was faced with a choice.
Someone made an offhand comment to me today and I dove headfirst back into my old fearful way of life. It happened so fast, it caught me off guard. I spent weeks and months reading, memorizing Scripture, remembering truth, talking to community and then three little words knocked me off my feet.
As I pondered those words, I allowed myself to remember. To remember the hurt, when satan's lies were truth, when I walked into a place not believing I was accepted, when I wondered what people thought when they looked at me. I remember feeling like there was a dark cloud or blemish hanging over me without knowing how to get rid of it. I remember feeling defeated to the way my mind worked. I allowed myself to remember those chains. I remembered what that was like. I let myself go there.
And then it hit me.
I REMEMBERED GIVING THAT FIGHT UP.
I remembered being saved. I remembered all of that being redeemed. I remembered being freed. I remembered Jesus Christ dying on the cross for my past. I REMEMBERED A LITERAL FREEING, A LITERAL BREAKING FREE. I remember walking in and feeling loved. I remember knowing people saw me as daughter of Christ and I remember serving in the exact place where God called me to be. I REMEMBERED BEING FREED.
Galatians 5:1 says "For freedom Christ has set us free; STAND FIRM therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."
Now that's some good news.
So I can think on the yoke of slavery I was once in.. or I can think on the good news of the cross and redemption and freedom. What am I choosing to remember?
There's a choice in that.
We honor God in our choices. He is rewarded when we remember, think, and dwell on His love, grace, and mercy. AW Tozer says, "God is going to be as pleased to have you with Him in heaven as you will be there with Him." And I believe that. I believe God is rewarded when we choose Him. He is GLORIFIED when we choose the Gospel. He is well pleased when we live for Him, in every little choice. His work on the cross is made complete when we are His witnesses now.
Jesus rescued us and freed us from sin. His death on the cross already defeated what we fight today. He is glorified when we give up the fight and surrender.