Campfires in Heaven

I want to do things that make a good story.

Why does that sentence make me so mad?

It drives me nuts. I hear people say over and over again how they want to tell a good story, how they are going on missions trips and going to church and being nice and they're making good choices and thinking positively.. and now their story is worth telling!! I'm guilty of it too and it's driving me crazy. Do we even know what makes a good story??

What happens when you do something bad or not so great or you make some mistakes? Does that not make your story good? What is a good story? Raising a family? Going to seminary? Helping the poor? Volunteering at church? It seems like we go down the line and point and say, "you.. what have you done? you volunteer at a hospital! that's a good story! what about you? you want to go to seminary? great story! you what?? you slept with your boyfriend before you were married!? that is NOT a good story! no one wants to tell your story."

I think we make the mistake of putting the emphasis on us. What have we done to make our stories good? We put ourselves in control of editing our lives. We stumble and fall and crash and burn in this life : life is hard. And then we get this feeling that we've got to do something good to make up for the parts where we fail. I feel it all the time. What makes my story good!?

My frustration started when I read Donald Miller's 'A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.' I know a lot of you loved it, but it just drove me crazy. Filmmakers come to his house to make a movie about his life and as they start to edit his life, he realizes he hasn't been living a good story. So he spends the rest of the book telling us about story while he gets the courage to talk to girls, bike across America, and start a nonprofit. And I see his point.. and it's a good one. He's saying we're wasting our lives and we need to start seeing them as stories. We need to get off our couches and start doing things that matter and that make our lives purposeful.

Right on!

But he stops there. I think there's so much more.

God has been pounding and pounding on my heart about story and I don't know what He's trying to tell me. Every time I think I've got something, I can't ever come to any peace. But I think we/I are missing something when we talk about our lives as stories. I think we should be all about living better stories, but not through the things we do. But through what's been done for us.

At the end of 'A Million Miles,' Miller imagines getting to heaven and telling God his story. He asks God if he remembers all the things he did and the people he met and all the different parts of his story. And then God reminds Miller of the parts he forgot, the parts that were his, God's, favorites. And then he puts his arms around Donald and says that he liked his story. And then they walk into heaven together.

And every time I read this, I wonder what were God's favorite parts? Will God like my story if I don't do all those things? What makes God like a story? How do I get him to like mine?

I imagine God's favorite parts are the ones where we humbly fall on our knees and ask for His forgiveness. I imagine they're the ones where we throw our hands in the air and dance and sing and praise and worship the loving Father that He is. I imagine His favorite parts are the times when we resemble His Son: when we love, care, serve, teach the people around us. I imagine they're the times when we turn our faces heavenward and make the choice to trust. When we soak in his majesty and sovereignty and power and compassion and love. When we heed His voice. When we are meek.

I think if we're being honest and if we've lived a life embracing the Gospel, our stories shouldn't make us look good. They should be stories full of Titus 3:3-7, how we were foolish and disobedient and led astray until the loving kindness of God appeared and He saved us. We were sinners and now we've been redeemed and we live stories now praising, honoring, and glorifying Him. Maybe we don't star in our own stories. If you're letting Christ have His way, then you're living a good story.

So now when we go down the line and reach the person who slept with their boyfriend or the person who was abused or the person who worked too much or the person who loved to swear, maybe we can ask 'have you let Christ redeem it? Now that's a good story!!'

My friend told me something once that really resonated with me. We're in heaven and we're all gathered around a campfire telling our stories. And when it gets to my turn, no one jeers at the bad parts or asks me to skip over them. Because God didn't scratch my story out and start over. He redeemed it. He rescued it. So the parts that we think are the worst and that make an awful story.. are actually the parts where God has shone. The parts where He has taken control. Your story is His story of how He rescues and redeems.

Don't take those parts out! Those are the best parts!

I'm not saying for you to go out and sin a little bit to make a good story. Not at all. But I am saying that the accomplishments we do, the recognition we get, and the achievements we receive don't necessarily make good stories. Adopting a child, going on a missions trip, and volunteering at your church are all GREAT stories. They really are. But maybe they don't define your story. Maybe they're all a part of what your bigger story is. Live a good story because Christ drives your story.

I believe that if filmmakers came to my house tomorrow and wanted to make a movie about my life, they would be bored to tears. I know they would complain about not having enough material to work with. But the mistakes I've made, the trials I've gone through, the redemption I've experienced, the transformation I've seen have all been so meaningful to me. I don't live a perfect story and sure there's plenty of shame in there.. but Christ has done my editing and I feel more and more like a new creation every day. Can you make a movie about that?

I don't know if the pounding on my heart will stop. But as I continue seeking, I want to stop saying 'I want to do things that make a good story.'

And start believing that Jesus wants to do things in my life that make a good story.