One of my favorite characters was Alex. I say 'was' because he hasn't been on the show in a long time and I'm starting to panic (I'm holding to the slim hope that he'll be back). Alex dated one of the main characters, Haddie. One of the best and most dynamic things about Alex's character was his past. He used to be an alcoholic and was homeless and now runs the same shelter where he used to live. I love that life change, no matter how fictional it may be.
But after an incident gets out of hand and the law gets involved, things start to unravel. You can feel his torment as he wrestles through feeling unworthy and questions if he's good enough. And then the climactic scene where he decides he can't be a part of the Braverman's lives anymore. And me? Oh I'm just sitting on my couch yelling, 'Alex! You don't have to do this! They love you, you are worthy!'
The trap of shame and the lies it tells.
Guilt and shame have always been confusing emotions for me. I confuse one for the other and feel shame way too often. I use the word guilt to describe things that aren't sinful. I feel shame for past events in my life that have already been redeemed, forgiven, forgotten. Once you've given your life to Christ and hunger and thirst for Him, sins and the way you previously lived your life surface and guilt and shame get tangled together down a slippery slope.
But there's a crucial distinction : take note.
Guilt is a feeling we have when we sin.
Shame is a feeling we have that makes us feel worthless.
Guilt is from God and is hardwired into our being.
Shame is a feeling that comes from the lies of satan.
Guilt is the gateway to God's forgiveness.
Shame says 'we can't be forgiven' and works to keep us from grace.
Alex's life decisions are dictated by shame. These are the lies he believes that make him think people see him as less, define him by what he's done. He walks away because shame says 'you won't be able to climb out of this. Your actions are your identity.'
But our identity is in relationship with Jesus Christ, through confession and repentance. Our sins and disobedience disrupt our fellowship with our Father. The Spirit convicts and we choose - to turn towards Jesus or away. But we never lose that relationship, His love, and it is our fellowship that is restored again when we confess and repent. Shame keeps us wallowing in the time between sin and confession and tells us we aren't worthy of forgiveness. But Hebrews 4:!6 tells us to boldly approach the throne of grace with confidence and God's mercy and grace prove deeper and more wonderful than we imagined. It's far greater than sin.
The truth is that I have new life in Christ - the old has gone away and the new has come. God looks at me and sees His Son. He looks at us and sees Jesus. I've been reading through the Old Testament and I've been thinking about the concept of God's wrath. The Israelites, those lovably irritable people of God, disobey and God's wrath burns. Because He is a just and perfectly holy and righteous God, He cannot dwell among sinfulness and disobedience. He cannot have anything to do with it. So what has absorbed that wrath? How are we counted righteous, how are we in relationship with God when we are sinful, disobedient people? How are we able to come back to God and restore that fellowship which our sin has broken?
CHRIST.
Throw off that shame that keeps you from grace and turn to Jesus.
Turn to Jesus in confession and repentance and receive the forgiveness and new life of the cross.
"I cannot escape the exceeding wonder that not only does God look upon a guilty person in the courtroom and exercise clemency and forgive him and say 'you're guilty, I forgive you, go and sin no more.' But He also, beyond all imagination, looks upon this guilty sinner and does not just say 'you're guilty, I forgive you.' He says, YOU'RE NOT GUILTY. I mean, forgiveness is understandable, just a little bit understandable. We kind of have some way to get our hands around forgiveness. You let it go, you don't hold it against them. But this. Look me right in the face, right in the face, sinner though I am, and say righteous." John Piper
No comments:
Post a Comment